to Stand in ONE line

She's not confident

This is a new world to her

New environment

Meets new people

People with their own history

People who have different kind of stories

She's troubled

Can't mix with others

why ?

Understand this :

To get a confident. Its not as easy as you think. For someone who lived in such a reclusive environment.

This world means harsh to her

People are making fun of her

Maybe, or maybe not.

Its her mind..played by her actions

Being reserved or just, timid.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taaruf.

That's the solution.

Kadang-kadang benda yang kecil nak diperbesarkan.

Hanya kesalah-fahaman yang setitik

Membuatkan keadaan bertukar rumit.

Betul.

Kita semua berlatar belakangkan kisah yang berbeza.

Mana mungkin kesepakatan fikrah

Pengikatan hati

dapat dibina

Dalam masa sehari

Bertaaruflah

Sampai betul-betul kenal siapakah dia.

Lacks of communicating skill ?

 Don't let the problem overcome your intelligence

solve.solve.solve.solve

dan

pada kebiasaannya

mereka yang terjaga hubungan dengan Dia

akan lebih mudah untuk menjaga

hubungan dengan mereka di sekeliling

Hubungan dengan Allah. Hubungan dengan manusia.

Dan untuk kita berdiri dalam satu saf.

Bekerja dalam satu aliran.

Bekerja keranaNya.

Sangatlah dititik beratkan agar mengaplikasikan

adab dalam bersahabat

Kerana hati kadang-kadang terleka

Apabila mengguris hati mereka

Antara solamatu sadr-musawah-ithar

Ikhlaslah dalam bersahabat

'One mu'min to another mu'min is like a building that supports each other'

leaflet- Al hujuraat

      As Saff

Its, Raya ! and....

What's define Eidul-fitri to you?

succeed on fulfilling 30-D of ramadhan non-stop.
got a chance to grab the night of lailatul-qadr.
or maybe....
just another festive season.
nothing special.
families from the city, spending the holiday in kampung.
just a usual gathering you get, only once a year.
forgive others
and ask their forgiveness.
and of course. Duit raya is one of the TOP-listed desire.

This year it was a lil bit different.
Different situations, I mean.
Because one of my cousins getting married.
So it became unusually busy.
But I appreciated the moment of 'bonding' between us :)


Aku dah tak ingat dah, bila feeling raya tu bagi aku..
macam 'excited' overdose.
macam ternanti-nanti yang..
esok, raya. raya, esok. esoklah, raya. rayalah, esok !!
it stucked in my head till I wake up the next morning...
to gaze a beautiful sunshine on the 1st Syawal.
Yeay ! raya-raya-raya !
sangatlah macam kartun, terlompat-lompat bagai.

Pagi-pagi lagi, huluran kemaafan dipinta pada mereka yang tersayang.
baju baru disarungkan ke badan. Eh, sebelum tu bertapa dulu dalam tandas, gosok habis daki-daki tuh.
then, makan rendang/ketupat/lemang/sate etc.
typical malay dish for raya.
lepas tu, macam biasa, siap-siap nak pergi masjid.
selipar baru tuh nanti karang aku pakai, sebab takut ada tangan2 panjang yang terus aje dengan gemilangnya melancarkan dosa pada 1 Syawal yang ntah apa makna baginya.

Bila difikirkan,
kenapa lain ye, raya dulu dan raya sekarang ?
Apa yang lainnya ?
It just felt something missing.
Yeah.

Bila album-album zaman baghla' nuh dibelek.
Aku dapat lihat dia, dia, dia, dan dia..
mengisi ruang foto tersebut.
Serta merta, bibir mengukir senyum.

Dia itu, aku yang dulu.
yang kemetot, agak nakal, makan macam mangsa kelaparan, duit raya tuh tak lupa mintak kat orang.

Dia itu juga, ibu dan bapa saudaraku.
yang 'title' mereka itu, aku anggap seperti parents aku sendiri.

Dia itu juga, sepupu-sepapatku :)
walau gap umur kita sangatlah tak berapa dekat, tapi aku masih dapat mengenali mereka walaupun tidaklah se'kamceng' mana.

Dan, Dia itu juga, anak sepupuku yang kiut-miut.
memang pagi-pagi lagi buat pakatan menggegarkan rumah.
meriuh-rendahkan suasana.

Dan tak lupa pada Dia yang lain. Sanak-saudara yang datang dan pergi. Tapi tak pernah lupa bagi duit raya tu sebelum mereka pergi :). I love you ! Heheh

Ain't it sweet ?
Those unforgettable memories ?

Ya, memang waktu itu, umurku berada di tahap tidak matang.
Belum mengerti apa itu maknanya dunia dan kehidupan yang mengisinya.
Belum lagi cukup menghargai hubungan dengan mereka yang bernama saudara.

Tapi, apa yang pasti.
Aku sangatlah gembira dan teruja.
Bila setiap kali Syawal datang menjengah.
Dan aku sentiasa 'eager' untuk melihat siapakah dia yang bakal muncul
dari balik pintu rumah keluarga besarku.

Pak Cik tu balik tak raya nih ?
Kenapa abang tu takde eh ?
Eh, kakak tu tak balik raya nih ?

Ya, bila dia yang ditunggu itu tidak datang.
Soalan itu aku lontarkan pada mereka yang berkenaan.


Tapi, aku mengerti.
Kadang-kadang kedewasaan itu membuatkan kita kesibukan yang amat.
Dengan kerja, family, anak-anak and so on.

Mungkin juga kerna jarak yang jauh dan tidak mengizinkan.

Dan kadang-kadang 'kehilangan' juga membuatkan kita
lebih pasif pada yang namanya 'keluarga besar'.
Tidak dapat meluangkan masa untuk mengunjungi teratak 'atok-nenek' kita.

Kehilangan.
Ya, kehilangan mereka yang tersayang.
kau faham kan, maksudku ?

Pernah aku terfikir,
kenapa dah bertahun-tahun tak menjenguk 'kami' yang berada di teratak ini ?
takkanlah tak pernah tergerak hati untuk balik ke sini ?
ataupun sibuk beraya kat rumah mertua n family yang lain.
Hmm, bila agaknya giliran family 'ini' akan dikunjungi ya ?

Atau rasa 'kekeluargaan' untuk kami ini dah semakin tipis.
Yes ?
No ?

Eidul-fitri is like an adrenaline rush for me.
but, its ain't the same now.

Bukan nak kata, raya sekarang dah jadi biasa-biasa.
It just felt something missing inside.

pernah tengokkan ad raya yang nenek tu sedih tak ramai balik raya.
sampaikan dia tampal gambar sekarang n dulu tuh sekali.
sebab.
Dia, dia, dia dan dia.
Lama-kelamaan hilang kewujudan dalam gambar itu.

Ya, walaupun aku tak bertaraf nenek.
Tapi feeling nenek tu sampailah kat aku.

Dan bila dilihat pula gambar tahun ini.
Hanya senyuman mampu diberi.
Ramai kut anak sepupu-sepapat yang menyibuk nak masuk dalam kamera.

'Patah tumbuh, hilang berganti' kan ?
walaupun ada di kalangan 'dia' itu yang dah lama tak bertemu mata
tapi 'dia' yang lain tetap ada.

Tempat yang kurang itu tidak boleh diganti sesiapa.
Tapi tempat yang baru tetap ada.

I pray to Him.
that someday, we'll meet again as the old days.
as ONE BIG family, indeed.

bukan nak kata, bulan Syawal nih.
bulan untuk kunjung-mengunjung, ziarah-menziarahi, sesi jejak kasih.
bulan lain tak boleh buat ke ?
But, Syawal is one of the month for 'bonding'
sebab ramai kut, mereka-mereka yang pulang ke kampung untuk beraya.

p/s : satu lagi yang aku tak tahan. introvert,anti-social. yang kerja duk swap phone,ipad,tab etc. Hailaa, duk sibuk ngan benda alah tu.Bila masa plak nak 'bonding' nya.kang lama-lama jadi awkward habes plak nk bertegur.

Dream, Big !

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

"If people aren't laughing at your dreams.Your dreams aren't big enough."

What are your dreams?

Dreams doesn't have to be just one.

So what are yours?

Some people says..

Don't hang your dreams on the sky, or above the sky....

Because, the higher your dreams is,

the tougher it gets to attain it.......yes ?

Everyone have a dreams.

But, not everyone of them have the guts to achieve it.

They just dare to dreams.

But its just as impossible to reach it.

It's THEM (A) who says:

"I can't.."

"Its impossible.."

"Its rough.."

"I'm not that good.."

But, in contrast, there's also THEM (B) who says:

"I'm working hard on it.."

"I wouldn't give up.."

"Its seems impossible, but who cares..."

When the B wins.

The A would be stunned..most probably.

The B's dream came true, but why not ours?   They asked.

Nah, they're good, geniuses,intelligent, brilliant..(and so on)

Ain't like us.    Some of'em answered.

Islam doesn't conquered Constantinople in 2, 3 days.

It was planned decades ago.

Even before Sultan Muhammad Al-Fateh was borned.

What's elses?

Badar. 

Muslimin which is, not even a quarter than Musyrikin.

Did Muslimin win? Or did not?

They won.

Why ?

Logically, they wouldn't. Musyrikin should won.

But, the Muslimin had their own advantageous.

They think BIG and dream BIG.

They work hard on it.

Importantly, they depends on Him.The most Gracious.

Tawakal 'alallah

Unlike the Musyrikin, who would be overconfident on defeating'em.

History never lies.

Its like our mirrors of past.

Don't just blurted out an excuse, saying I can't and I'm weak.

Never compare yourself to others..

He's a brainiac, an Einstein, a mastermind. and I'm just.....

Everyone's not the same. They have their own quality in different aspects.

And...

Those brain box is like one out of thousands, okey?!

Everything's ready.
Just waiting you to take a move.
Work smart, think deep.
yet, easy said than done.
But, remember...that SUCCESS occurs when your dreams get BIGGER than your EXCUSES

My dreams is so beautiful.
Its just too beautiful that sometimes I'm scared to touch it.
Too shiny, glittery.
Lovely.

I do hope that its just ain't simply a DREAM
I do want it to become a REALITY
My heart, permanently carved, to attain the dreams..
I......hope so
Insya-Allah. Moga thabat dalam meneruskan perjuangan !

[If you haven't felt like quitting, your dreams aren't big enough]
[When you want to succeed in life as bad as you want to breath, you'll be successful]
Hang your dreams higher.
because if your dreams moderately or low-target.
you might attain it lower.
As Sun of Wrath said, nobody's perfect as they'll always be room for improvement.

# 1st

Have you ever asked this question to yourself ?

Death is something unexpected

Yeah, we know we'll die

No doubt

But we doesn't know when it'll come

Is it next year or next month or the others.

"You know that mak cik who lives in front of your house had died ?"

"Really?!"

"Uhum"

"But she look's finely fit yesterday. I even called her last night"

"It was an accident this morning. She was crossing the road and then, bamm!"

"How did it happen ?"

"She's going to get a lift in her friend's car which is waiting on the other side. It was before azan Subuh where the accident happened"

"Gosh, I don't expect that yesterday was the last day I saw her..."

"Yeah, the driver who hit her was rushing for her shift at the hospital. And because it was still dark, she couldn't see that mak cik was crossing the road"

"Mak cik had been dragged around 20 meters. Tons of her bones fractured. She died instantly. It was such a dreadful situation"

"Today....the first ramadhan..."

"Yeah, Allah loves her more..eventhough she only did taste a glimpse of ramadhan"

"Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'un"

-moga Allah reda-

Al-fatihah

As-syukr lillah..we're still blessed with iman and islam.

Nyawa yang dipinjam

Jasad juga dipinjam

even, udara,makanan,minuman..stok yang maha besar

diberi tanpa cas mahupun bayaran.

benda 'mati' ini tak pasti bila tibanya.

tak pernah berhenti mengejutkan orang di sekelilingnya.

mungkin juga tiba tanpa sebarang petanda

bersyukurlah kerana masih diberikan nyawa untuk menempuh bulan yang penuh barakah ini.

rebutlah peluang untuk menggapai redhanya.

kerna ketentuan syurga dan neraka itu tidak pasti

sebelum roh dipisahkan dari jasad.

phase 3 will come soon.

push yourself till the limits.

because we don't know..if we'll be invited again

to taste the next ramadhan.

its ain't worth to be lazy in this blissful month

Sense it. Feel it.

# ichi.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

My first entry..

Actually, blogging isn't my cuppa.It's because I enjoy writing a LOT.

And I use this, a different medium to write, sharing my thoughts and experiences.

It was simply a replacement of paper...dozens of paper, I had spent..

This blog had existed since 2008.

curious why there's zero post in here, since then?

practically, I use the blog to spread out 'Anime Addiction'. Or you can named me as an otaku, anime freak or whatsoever.

but, it was then....the past..

Soon, as I get off from this craziness. I stop writing. And deleted all the post.

Worthless. Pointless on keeping it.

But I still watch Anime,though..once it became a habits,Its ain't easy to dump it off - -'

Several months after that, K-Wave came haunting me.

It was around 2009. Facing a tremendously important exam. Ain't distract a bit of my intention on 'k-popping'.

Too focus on it. The exam? bye-bye

It's just a luck. I didn't fail on the papers.

Alhamdulillah.

B2ST.MBLAQ.2AM.2PM.HITT.INFINITE.DALMATIAN.SHU-I.X-5.F.CUZ.B1A4.

BLOCK B.SUPERNOVA.CN BLUE.SHINEE.ZE:A.U-KISS.BOYFRIEND

etc..

the list's goes on and on. Just named it.

The members name, their age, from what agency.what they like.their debut.their comeback.their mini album,full album.

just anything. It stucked on my mind.

pretty boys, handsome one,

I copied their dance.

Their songs was my lullaby.

Perfect..so this blog had been dedicated to'em..

but it was then....the past..

So the blog had been left unwritten.

empty, blank, unoccupied with anything.

[manusia memang mudah berubah minat eh?]

Tak salah kalau berubah dari buruk ke arah baik

Dari baik ke arah lebih baik.

Kembali pada fitrah.

See, I was moulded with all of that 'lagha' things. Too immersed on it.

I didn't realize that I had been negligent from my responsibility.

As a daughter, student...

and above of all...as a caliph..

Bukan nak judge.. Anime is a NO. KPoP is a NO either.

Tapi bila dah ter'addictive' sampai tahap gaban. solat pun boleh jadi lewat.

tak lewat sejam pun. paling2 lewat 15 minit. Senang cakap Tak punctual laa.

Telinga tuh kalau tak sumbat ngan muzik tak sah. sampai nak hadap buku pun..kpop tu laa yang jadi halwa telinga. bukan nak kata. ganti la ngan nasyid ke.zikir harian ke.Al-Quran ke.

tapi sekurang-kurangnya. kalau kita kurangkan mende tuh.ganti dengan benda yang boleh bawak pahala.tak ke lagi berbaloi-baloi?

Islam tak larang hiburan.

tapi hiburan ada caranya.

ada masanya.

dan Islam bukannya mengongkong.

Kalau tengok satu benda tuh. tolonglah!. jangan lihat pada kulitnya SAHAJA.

lihat pada isinya.

one more thing. silalah jaga mata itu.pandangan itu.

sebab kadang-kadang anime nih boleh tayang benda hentai,smut..or something like that..

so, tapis. filter! okey.

n KPOP scene. tak sah kalau ada idol yang tak bukak n tunjuk dia punya abs.

tak sah jugak kalau tak pakai short skirt,sendat..yang.....*sila sambung sendiri*

dah tau kan batas2 aurat? so jaga..

[Tapi bukan ke kat MY nih blambak org pakai cmtu?]

okeh, selagi kita mampu jaga pandangan. maka jagalah.

thats the norm of people. even some muslims go against the limits of aurat.

so we can do nothing except giving a simple advice,sincerely.

lagipun. yang kpop nih dia tunjuk kat TV,tenet etc...kita boleh pilih samada nak tengok ke tak nak.

I wrote this.

to remind myself.

n you..

bila kita minat sesuatu.jangan sampai tahap lagha.jangan sampai ia boleh menjatuhkan hukum jenis hiburan itu kepada haram.

kenapa diletakkan gambar awan diatas sekali? kerana ia simbolik bagi aku untuk terbang.

mencari identiti diri? kindof. I'm trying to explore my own self. 

mengenal diri ini siapa. merubah diri ini menjadi lebih baik.

membuang calitan hitam yang telah mengotorkan hati.

THIS IS A FIGHT AND YOU CAN WIN.

kalau betul lah hati itu mahu berubah.

datanglah badai, angin topan, ribut, puting beliung sekalipun.

kau tetap akan berdiri teguh.

because you had vowed...to change.

'nothing is impossible with Allah'